Looking at this club story, I feel that the GOP really missed an opportunity. I decided to write an alternate press release:
GOP Supports Free Market Loving Americans [Alternate Press Release]
The GOP in keeping with its long held “big tent” belief, today created the Alternative Industry Outreach division. The AIO will focus on free market loving small business that previously have not been represented by the GOP and marginalized by left wing feminist moments inside the Democratic party. The division will be lead by [staffer who was just canned]. The move reaffirms the GOP’s ideal that any business that is arousing local economys should be represented. GOP want Americans to know that it will thrust and grind until economic dysfunction (a.k.a ED) is rectified.
Gold People. This would win votes.





